Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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