i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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