so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
