Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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