is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
