i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
