I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
