why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
