Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cut my penus on the lid.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
