sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
