Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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