you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize