Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
