nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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