I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
