and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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