I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
