He is an equal opportunity slut.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
