Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
