He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
