And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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