Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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