she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
