she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
