like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
