I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
