Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(904): View more from Florida

whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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(989): View more from Michigan

We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

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(727): View more from Florida

Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.

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