theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
