There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
