this just has baby written all over it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
