i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We are two peas in an std pod
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
