i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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