I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
