my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
