HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
