I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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