Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
