I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
