mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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