I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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