Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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