I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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