hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
