I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Randomize
