I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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