Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
meet me or not, i'm out of control
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
