brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize