It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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