You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
