the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
