Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
false alarm. still invincible.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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