Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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