if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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