I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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