i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
