If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
