Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My first STD was from a foam party
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
