And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
