just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
