i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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