I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
