He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
