Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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