Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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